» HADOUKEN « how many Ivy League MBAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A few days ago, I met someone online. His name is Scott. Or maybe I should say "its name" seeing that Scott is a customer support specialist at Bonobos and therefore likely to be a chatbot. As we inch toward the singularity, my money's on the latter.
And while I'm still questioning Scott's identity days after our encounter, it was the substance of our conversation that really left me baffled.
Prelude:
In conducting market research on pleated dress trousers, I landed on the Bonobos home page, and as I had done hundreds of times previously that day, I flicked my trackpad and sent my cursor to the right hand corner of the page -- you know, the place where the search bar is supposed to be (or at the very least the magnifying glass that expands into a search bar; we all know how this goes). However, something was different this time.
Could it be, in 2018 and almost a decade since disrupting the men's trouser market, that Bonobos' website--once its only point of sale--did not have search functionality?
End prelude.
Cue Scott.
"There is no search."
What?
Our conversation was succinct. I mean, there's not really much else to say after reading such devastating news. Scott dutifully answered my question, providing only the requisite amount of information needed to sufficiently satisfy my query. Flummoxed, and in a bit of a snide mood, I followed up with another question.
"I guess eight years operating online and the powers that be have it all figured out. They must have removed the search for some reason. Some sort of SEO or SEM reason, I'm sure. Or maybe they figure the algorithm is that good..."
Scott addressed my stream of consciousness (and snark) one by one.
Bonobos.com has been in operations for over 10 years. It never had search functionality. Yes, the site is optimized.
SEO, SEM--LOL!
A company with 172 different permutations of size and fit, trail-blazed omnichannel retail showrooming, convinced men that every other trouser on the market doesn't quite fit the way it "should" and received a buyout from Walmart to the tune of $300+ million never had search functionality. Surely, I couldn't be the first person to have asked this question. Looking to compare plaids? Good luck. Want to limit your selection to cotton? Sorry. How about only five pockets? Nope.
But if you want to filter the pocket lining, you can see what comes in "gingham," "solid," "geo" and the amorphous "limited edition." Because, you know, guys really need to narrow their quest for trousers by the sewn in bags that will house their keys, phone and lint. That's what's important, you know?
Now, the snark: is this what happens when you put a bunch of Ivy League MBAs with no real world experience in a room together? They gas themselves up to believe that "if they search for something and don't find it, they cut bait and go to another site, so we should just force them into a funnel of exploration!"...?
Meh, who knows? But what I do know is that Scott the Bot is a polite and efficient employee who has a very bright future in customer support.